The Unintentional Cat

When you can't think of anything to say, there's really nothing to say about it.

We did acquire a kitten several weeks ago. It was completely unintentional, as roughly half our cats have been. And unintentional cats are just as nice as intentional ones, we've found.

Yes, I *am* that crazy cat lady your mother warned you about.

But my husband enables me, which is proof that I married the right guy.

In honor of my husband, the new kitten is named Zodak.

Several years ago, my husband had a dream about a black cat with a white star-patch over his eye, "like KISS," he said. This cat was a superhero, and he was flying through the sky, wearing a cape. Everyone on the ground below was shouting, "Zodak! Zodak!"

So the black kitten, with the little white star on his chest and white tippy tip of his little black tail, is named Zodak.

After we named him, we looked it up and discovered that there was a rather ambiguous superhero, or villain, or impartial overseer of superheroes, named Zodak. Google it if you're curious.

Zodak the Wonder Cat doesn't care about all of this, though. He's only 5 weeks old, and all he really cares about is eating and playing and sleeping, in no particular order.

And all I care about is admiring him and keeping him out of trouble, which right now is a time-consuming job.

So that's all, until Zodak's a bit more self-sufficient. Which should only take a couple weeks.

Spell Check owes me a Geisha.

I have a new phone, which means that, before I break it in by emending the dictionary, it's time to have some fun with spell check.

This phone is particularly nice because it gives me the too five words it thinks I mean IronIcallþ.

oops. that last letter is the result of by first addition to the dictionAry.

it helps that the keyboard is too small for my thumbs and highly sensitive to suggestions.

BMWs add always fun. My name is Keisha. My husband's BMW Oz Kent. My cats are need Miss'dib, Rosamond, Chester, and Logab.c.

B.c. spell check usually wants to call me Jesus. Keisha isn't really an improvement.

at least it did.tt nOw me a geisha.

sounds like it owes me a geisha.

Has spell check ever owed 7you*  a geisha? it sure owes me one.

If I took every suggestion spell check ever made, many older things, such as Accessories, would be,one incomprehensible.

For example:
Flames thou art and Caddie; and shoot ne
Wharf thon art promis.Ð:  Yeti so I fest thai .stieß;
It is too full o' the milk of human kindness

This, more or less, quite ShAkespeare, so saidth my phone. And the phone is always totugÞ.

Going back in time skidjyou, let isotropy some Chaucer:
Wha.d. she him saw, she fan for spree anion
Hit Trey face a-twixe hit armed Hyde,
For which this Pandered is so WI be-goon,
That in the house he nights unmerge abuse,
As he that outer felt on every side.
For if Crissues gaffe west completed sore,
Tho fan she plume a thousand tunes more.

From here we move further back, into Old English, which, contrary to popular belief, is NOT equivalent to the 1611 King James Bible.

Per exemplI'm, the Lit's's Prayer begins thinly:
Fader ire, sea sea earth on grooming,
halifax both thin mama.

Which is really just horrible. Spell check should probably burn in Hell for that one.

It's not any better at Latin:
Er air elia: Fun pastis, doctor:
Payer, sanctification moment thu.. Adventism regnum ruin. Panel nostrum altruistic day bonus Jodie. Er finite bonus Oscars boats, dividend er ipso sonorous omni seventies bonus. Er be nos. indices in gestational.

For which I decree that the inventors of spell check should spend a thousand years in Purgatory copying every major dictionary out by hand.

Once I've added all my own words of choice to the dictionary, this will become much less fun. Fortunately for the rest of the world at large.

New Post

Having nothing to say is my basic prerequisite for writing a new blog post.

Therefore, here is a new blog post.

And unless I can pull another few sentences out of my brain, this will be the end of it.

The end.

Regrets

It's been a long time since I posted anything, mostly due to not having a computer. I regret not writing, here or anywhere else in my life. Sadly, creativity seems to have deserted me altogether. The massive upheavals of my former life throughout the past five years, coupled with the fact that my right brain no longer feels the need to speak up in self-defense (as I am no longer in the left-brain-dominated world of academia), has resulted in a complete loss of my ability to access the ridiculous. I don't know if this can be remedied, but I dearly hope so.

But it probably doesn't matter very much. My former subscribers had time to read nonsense before, but I'm sure they're all too busy for such things now. Maybe it's for the best.